Good News!

Life is settling down and we are getting in to a new rhythm. Everyone is just about healthy. Jon and Livi have a little bit of a lingering cough. Jon is going back to the office after working from home a lot last week. I don't mind him working at home one or two days at a time but nearly a whole week is a little much. It throws off our schedule and revs up the kids for Daddy's attention when he has to work. 

By the end of this month our schedule gets busy again. I never though we would be "that" family. You know the kind that has each kid in some sort of extra curricular activities every night and is running around to get to them all. I didn't mean to. It all just creeped up on us. Everything fits in really well and we get some funding for a lot of it so we aren't even out much financially! I'm feeling pretty blessed! A lot of the reason that I let it get so busy is because I obviously want the best for my girls and want them to have every opportunity. For Sofie, I feel like I'm doing catch up. She was so deprived for so long we want her to benefit from all there is to offer. Everything she is in has a purpose and they just happened to happen at the same time. Maybe she'll nap better now that she is busier!

Livi is in preschool Tuesday's and Thursday's. Wednesday morning she has Dance. A half hour after Livi's Dance, Sofie has an Occupational Therapy play group through the CDC for 6 weeks and is only costing us $10 for materials. Thursday's, starting again after Easter, Sofie has her Music Together class which is SUCH AMAZING therapy for Sofie for we will be continuing this as long as she needs. Thankfully, half the cost is getting subsidized by the Lower Mainland Down Syndrome Society! Saturday's are busy though. At 10:30am both girls have swim lessons. Livi is entering her first swim level and Sofie and I are going to be in a Parent and Tot class. Hopefully, I'll get a week or two off though and Jon can take Sofie so I can watch Livi! Sofie's lesson's will also be half covered by  the LMDSS. Then Saturday afternoon Sofie has Special Olympics ActiveStart which is basically fun therapy to help her learn to run and jump! This only costs $20! Awesome! 

I have some super amazing news for the girls! Remember my preschool dilemma? Well it was all fixed today! We decided a while ago to put Livi in 3 year old preschool, two days a week when she was 3.5 years old. She started in February. She goes to the school around the corner from us. It is a little chaotic and she is already above the curriculum they teach the four year old's, but we decided on it for purely social reasons. We wanted her to develop a bit socially. Today, I just go word that we got the money to send both girls to the Montessori school that we really wanted was way out of our price range! With Sofie's special needs top up we are only going to be paying $60 per month for both girls together! (Not each!) The girls will only be going 3 days a week, rather than the schools desired 4, but that was our choice. We didn't even apply for 4 days of funding. I don't think any of us are ready for 4 days a week yet, plus Sofie only gets an aid paid for 3 days a week. 

I am so excited for them. Thank you Child Subsidy! I have high hopes for this school and it has a great reputation. They are going to challenge Livi academically, while going at her own pace as the Montessori style is known for. It is calm and very structured, which is the kind of environment that Sofie will thrive in, plus they regularly use sign language! I also liked how they teacher approached Sofie. She shook her hand and talked to her, where the teacher at Livi's current school frequently babies her a bit. I don't mind her getting babied. She needs it right now. But, from a teacher who knows she is almost 4 years old I really appreciated the age appropriate response. 

We are finally just about all caught up with our finances, after being so far out with lagging medical bills from before Sofie had her Care Card and the transition and wait times for pay periods from Jon being on parental leave and returning from work thanks to our tax return! We will also finally be getting the disability supplement we've been waiting for. It will be a monthly payment but it work retroactively too! Yay! We are finally out of our line of credit... That is not to say we are out of debt! We still owe on most of the adoption and Jon's school loans. It never ends. But, tonight I am feeling less stressed about out money. We can finally redo our will to include the Henson Trust which we need for Sofie and I can get the crown I've been in need of but couldn't afford for a few months! Some will be put aside for a small vacation this summer and the rest will be off to debt... Waaa waaa. 

A Night Out... FINALLY!

Friday night Jon and I got a much needed night out. We haven't been out on a real date in over seven months, since before Sofie came home.  Jon had got to let loose and spend the night in Vancouver once and we'd been out separately for a movie or dinner with friends a few times. We hadn't done anything together aside from one evening at Christmas to a staff party... but that wasn't exactly my idea of a relaxing date :)

My sister's and mom all graciously helped out with watching the girls. Sessa took the first shift until before bed time and Liz slept over. Mom helped out where she could! I am so grateful. I really needed a night where I felt completely relaxed. I got that. Sofie was ready to be with out us for a night. I was confident my kids would have fun. I even got the pleasant surprise that Livi went to sleep with no bedtime issues! Why do kids act so different for their parents?

Anyway, Jon and I went out to Langley for a little shopping at my favorite clothing store because I am needing some new pants and had a gift certificate from Christmas. (I'm officially down over 20 pounds in 7 weeks with the PINK method and down a size!) I didn't buy anything because they didn't have the pants I wanted in the size I needed. I showed great reservation and saved my certificate for next time. Then we went for a coffee and sandwich date at the coffee shop across the street before heading in to Vancouver for the night. Our dear friends helped us celebrate our momentous night out and took us for some seriously delicious tapas at an Italian restaurant in Gastown. The evening was filled with interesting stories, laughter, drinking and relaxation. We even took a drive through Stanley Park in search of purring raccoon's. We slept over at their apartment and enjoyed a delicious breakfast to top it all off. 

It was exactly what I needed. I enjoyed myself immensely and when I woke up in the morning I found myself not wanting to go home yet... by the next morning I'm usually yearning for my bed and anxious to check in on my kids. When we did get home we were greeted by big smiles and hugs from BOTH kids! Sofie showed us a very appropriate response to seeing us again after her first 20 hours away from us. I was worried she would not care that we had come home but she smiled, and came to me for a big hug! Thank you every one who helped us have a real night out! I feel so blessed and ready to face the next 7 months!... I hope it isn't that long again!

Bedtime Battles

Bed time battles with Livi suck. We have been having them, to some degree, for months. These last few weeks seem to be particularly difficult. We don't know what to do with her, for her, or even too her. She can have the attitude and stubbornness of a PMSing, bi-polar, 14 year old... and I'm NOT exaggerating. She will throw herself to the ground and ignore us. She will come up with every excuse in the book to get us responding to her some how. She will kick the walls to make noise. She will toss books in to Sofie's crib to "give her something to read", but te books sometimes hit Sofie in the head. She will give us attitude... Not just 3 year old attitude, but the kind of attitude you get from a 16 year old who knows she is almost an adult and testing the limits. She will mimic what we say in a sassy voice. She will yell. She will do the exact opposite from what we tell her to do and then give us a look "daring" us to do something about it. SERIOUSLY!?! And all this is within the half hour we are trying to get her to be quiet in bed trying sleep! It really makes for some bad parenting some nights.

Is this normal 3 year old behavior? Are other parents experiencing bed time battles like this? She can have attitude during the day but not like this. Generally, she is a pretty awesome kid! Just not when going to bed.

What do we try after we have already attempted reasoning, giving extra attention, bribing, ignoring, allowing natural consequences, and giving consequences? What comes next after we have given a time out, talked and reasoned with her, threatened consequences, acted on those consequences by taking away her Elmo, fuzzy, pillow, her cartoons or privileges for the next morning and, I'm ashamed to say, even flicked her? We've exhausted all of our parenting strategies. (We will not spank our children. We think it is wrong and damaging. I know flicking her on occasion is hypocritical of us and a form of corporal punishment, which is why I am ashamed of trying that method of parenting. We were at our wits' end.)

I know many people might suggest cutting her nap out all together but I'm not entirely sure that is the answer either. Livi has always been a good sleeper and been on the higher end of the scale for hours of sleep need than many of her peers. I'm the same way. While many people only need 7-8 hours of sleep, I am never fully rested unless I've had a good 9 hours. Livi is fully operational on 12-13 hours of sleep. (11 at night and a 1-2 hour nap.) I think cutting her naps out might disrupt her cycle to much and result in being over tired. She is yawning by 1:20pm most days. When we lay down for a nap she is almost always asleep within 10 minutes and then sleeps for 1-2 hours.

I am starting to try something different. I gave her the option of napping. She naps with me in my bed because naps don't work for either girl if they are together and Sofie NEEDS her naps. I brought some puzzles and books in to my room and lay them on the floor beside the bed. I read her a book as usual and told her that I wanted her to lay down for 10 minutes for some quiet time. If she didn't want to sleep she could quietly read the books or do the puzzles while Mommy slept. Well, she has fallen asleep each time and slept for over an hour each time.

For bed time, I told her that because she was a big girl, she gets to stay awake later than Sofie. After Sofie was in bed I cuddled with her in my bed, read her a book, got her to get in her pj's and go to the bathroom then one more short book before I put her to bed in her own room. We still had a battle that was just as intense as usual but it is much shorter. We only "fought" with her for 15 minutes instead of the usual 45 minutes. I hope that things keep getting better and that this really does work. I honestly don't know what else to do if this doesn't work.