Saturday, June 23, 2012

Gestational Diabetes

"Apparently", I have gestational diabetes. Sense the sarcasm. I'm feeling like one of the midwives at the practice was trying her hardest to give me this diagnosis based on my weight and the fact that Livi was a big baby. I'm very frustrated right now.

I've only had one appointment with one of the midwives at the group I went with. The appointment had gone well. Knowing that I was thinking of a home birth the midwife wanted to do a little extra monitoring on me because I am overweight. I was fine with this. The extra monitoring was basically only some extra ultrasounds to monitor the size of the baby. She acknowledged that I already had a big baby, with out having gestational diabetes, and pushed her out in less than 30 minutes. She even made the comment that I was "made to have big babies". Which apparently I am! Livi was 9.11 lbs. I was 9.10. My mom was over 9 too. I have numerous cousins who have also been and birthed 9 and 10 pound babies. 

Anyway, one of the initial blood tests ordered, which I didn't really realize was an extra precaution, was a fasting blood glucose test. It came back at 5.1, which is high but after some research I discovered it was still in the normal range. A midwife called me and told me that it was over the threshold and she wanted to retest me. Having not researched it all yet, I redid the test. My numbers came back at 5.5, which is over the threshold. She referred me too the diabetes clinic and started talking about possibly having to send me for an OB consult to make a care plan. I asked if that meant I couldn't have a midwife anymore and she said she didn't know. She also wants me to have a consult with an anesthesiologist 'in case' I have to have a c-section. I felt very discouraged. 

I chose to have a midwife this time because I had a really easy pregnancy and birth with Livi. I figured that midwives were less invasive and more laid back. I also really like the fact that midwives come to the mother's home after birth instead of the the mom having to pack up all the kids to get to the appointment. I would like to try and see if I could have a water birth this time too because they can be so much calmer and relaxing. 

The more I've been researching and thinking about it I believe this midwife is being way to premature and even prejudice. The Canadian Diabetes Association Clinical Practice Guidelines for during pregnancy recommend the fasting glycemic target to be under 5.2 mmol/L and even has a line that states "Values are higher in obese women." The first test was under this threshold but she retested me anyway. I asked the diabetes clinic why she would have retested me and they said maybe the midwife was suspicious of my first big baby. If this is the case, the midwife completely disregarded my family history of having big babies, disregarded the possible higher values for being overweight, and disregarded the fact that I was tested for GD with Livi and it was negative. 

Yes, my levels were higher the second time. I asked the diabetes clinic about this too and she said that any given day the level may be higher and the next it may be lower. So, in my mind, one time of catching my glucose high just doesn't seem enough to diagnose me and possibly put me under the care of an OB who will most definitely want to induce me early to ensure not having a big baby. A big baby with jaundice and low sugar levels is the biggest complication with gestational diabetes. 

The diabetes clinic has me monitoring my glucose levels 7 frickin' times a day. I've been doing it because I want some leverage to go back to the midwife and show her this is a misdiagnoses. Each day since starting my numbers have been WELL within the normal range. Yes, I've cut out a lot of the extra sugar that I'd been indulging on since learning about all this... but not completely... and my numbers are still within normal. I'm just eating healthy on the whole, which is what I should be doing anyway. 

I don't know what all this means. I have an appointment with one of my midwives in a few weeks to discuss everything. Hopefully find out what this all means for my birth experience and see if I can get this diagnosis reversed. I made a consultation with the Maternity Group that I was happy with the first time. They have three midwives and two doctors working alongside each other. The only thing with that is I might end up with a doctor if they are the ones on call and I would have to have a hospital birth and give up the home visits after birth because I live outside their jurisdiction. I'd be giving up my hopes for a water birth if I went with them. 

If I have it, I'll deal with it properly and make sure the baby and myself are healthy. I'm not fighting this because I just want to eat sugar. I just  really don't think I have it to the extent they are treating me. I may be borderline. I may eventually get it. But right now, this seems very premature. She tested me 12 weeks earlier than normal and my numbers were only high once! Okay, I think that's it for my rant. Pray that this can be reversed and I don't have to fight for a natural birth. I want this to all be as stress free as possible. 

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Father's Day

I'm sure I have lots to say about how wonderful a father my husband Jon is, but I'm too tired to blog. I just needed to make special note on Father's Day how good a dad Jon has become. He can do pony tails, diapers, meals, imaginary friends and obstacles, story time, nails, and even has gotten pretty good at picking outfits for the girls! He's got it in the bag if we have another girl and if we have a boy on the way then I think he'll be happy to get a little more testosterone in the mix :)

I'm so thankful he is the Daddy to my (almost three) children! He has truly redeemed what a father is in my eyes. Thank you babe.

He finally got his wing back chair. Happy Father's Day!

Friday, June 15, 2012

10 Months!

This has been an insane month and filled with more transition for Sofie. She has had so much in her short little life. She is dealing with it so much better than we could have hoped for though!

This month we moved. We packed up our home, all our earthly belongings and came to a beautiful new home. Sofie has been doing great with it. She really does seem to be taking comfort in her family rather than her surroundings. It is amazing to see. I don't think I expected this level of attachment this quickly. Sofie is such a miracle and testament to what love and security can do for an innocent child.

She hasn't had one night terror since moving to the new house either. We expected at least a few. Actually, I can't remember the last night terror she has had at all! Maybe only one in the last two month! This is truly a miracle. When she first came home she was having them 4-5 times a week. They are horrible to see and there is nothing I can do to help. I'm so thankful she knows peace now. What a privilege to be a part of giving her that peace.

Singing Open and Shut Them, one of her favorite songs.

Sofie has been having some extra behaviors with all these transitions. She has been hitting more and been extra clingy and needing to be held but i guess that is expected. That hasn't stopped her from developing! She is now putting two word signs together like "drink milk", "more/all done eat", "sorry Mommy", and a few more that I can't think of right now. She is also saying more words. "Drink" is the most common one. She answers yes or no questions about her preferences appropriately and has started handing me things trying to communicate that she wants me to do something with the object. Today she handed me sunglasses and did not want me to put them on her but on myself :) She has also learned her aunties names and can say her own name and identify herself!... most of the time :) She has come for far.

.... "do not let them in!" ....part of Open and Shut Them.

Another big thing this month is we've beginning to transition her to a big girl bed. We have completely child proofed her room... at least we hope we have... and took one of the rails off her crib. We put a short toddler rail up for her. The first night she fell straight to sleep! In her bed! We were not expecting that. Each night since she has fallen asleep on the floor. We are trying to get her ready for sharing a room again with Livi once baby comes. They will have bunk beds, so hopefully it will work out better than when they can see each other. We'll see...

Singing Itsy Bitsy Spider... She really washed the spider away :)

Yesterday Sofie had another appointment at Children's Hospital. They are so wonderful there. We got there an hour early to see the ENT about possible sleep apnea. He got us in right away. After mentioning I wasn't impressed with the three audiologist appointments we'd had in our home town, he got us right in to see the audiologist! Who was wonderful and got the most response out of Sofie at one of these appointments. These doctor's listened to me. They acknowledged my concerns as valid and are pursuing non-invasive treatments first to rule out things. The home town audiologists wanted to send her for a ABR (sedated brainwave test) despite my concerns of sedation for Sofie. She has opposite reactions to it and I think she has sleep apnea. The ENT agreed that she probably has sleep apnea and wants to get a handle on that before doing any sedated testing or procedures. He, like what I've been trying to say to the doctors, feel that the lack of oxygen could be contributing to her lack of physical growth, among other things. I was so thankful for this affirmation from a specialist! He is going to try a nasal spray for two months to see if it is as simple as that to help the snoring and restlessness at night. I think the next step is tonsils and adenoids out.

As for her hearing, she has some mild hearing loss, possibly more in one ear rather than the other. With both ears working together, she doesn't really seem to have much hearing loss at all. After the sleep apnea is figured out we may pursue the ABR test depending on how she is responding in her audiology appointments. The ENT did mention a possible problem with the three little bones in her ear, and hinted that that is probably the worst case scenario, but we are crossing our fingers that her hearing loss is much simpler than that.

Cutie :)

As for her growth, she is continuing to gain and grow steadily. She could definitely do with a little more fattening up and growing taller! She is 26 pounds still and 34 1/8 inches tall. That isn't up basically any at all in two months. A little frustrating.

For her 10 month anniversary home she got sick. Really sick. My poor baby has never had anything worse than a cold. This morning she started crying halfway through breakfast and holding her stomach. All she wanted was cuddles. I held her and she just lay on my chest. Then came the throw up. It was gross and all over me... not good for a pregnant Momma. I felt so bad for her though. She was so sad and lethargic :( After we got all cleaned up Sofie was just done. She just lay on my chest and fell asleep for an hour. She hasn't fallen asleep on us since Bulgaria! I loved the cuddles but my baby was so sick :(

This kid has an amazing imune system though because shortly after her morning nap, she bounced back! I know three other kids who have been hospitalized for dehydration because of this bug this week. Sofie ate her small lunch and kept asking for more and more dinner! Crazy kid! She was slower but played and sang and danced as usual! So much for having a "medically fragile" child :) I'm sure she will defy more stereo types than just that in her life!

Livi was so doting. She didn't leave Sofie's side while she was sick. 

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Moved In!

We survived! Barely. I'm so tired! We are all moved in and mostly unpacked. Jon's Mom was such a help through the entire moving process. Jon's grandparents paid for a hotel and some food for us through the two days of moving too! Such a blessing. It helped have a base camp for the kids to feel a little more settled through everything, and it kept the kids with us. Sofie hasn't slept anywhere with out us so I was a little worried to send her to Gramma's for the night. The hotel saved us all from that stress. Jon's brothers came out on moving day and assembled all our Ikea purchases for us! It was such a big help! I hate putting that stuff together.

We have a bit more to do in the Master bedroom with our closet that has seemed to be the dumping ground for anything we don't have a spot for yet. We also have to get some bookcases for Jon's thousands of books... and I'm not exaggerating the number. I think one more trip to Ikea is in our future.

Nothing is decorated yet which is starting to get to me. I don't do well without pictures on the walls to make it feel like home. I don't want to put the first holes in the walls until I'm sure where I want things though.

The girls are settling in well. Livi's room is all unpacked and Sofie's mostly is... although we are missing a box of hers somewhere. I want to paint and put a wall of wallpaper up in Livi's room eventually too. I know what I want, but it will be a matter of finding the right wall paper. Sofie's room will remain white and bare as she is getting used to her big girl bed and we find out the gender of baby #3. I don't know what to do with the rest of the house and actually don't think we have the patience or money to do the rest of the house. Builder's beige will remain for a few years I think.

For Sofie's big girl bed we just took a side off her crib and put up a rail up. Last night was the first night and she did great! She fell asleep in her bed and stayed there in the morning! Not expecting that. We'll see how nap time goes.

Livi has woken up crying a few times and been a little confused about her surroundings but she is doing well. She has been enjoying the new stuff in the house. The floors are dark wood and she keeps pretending they are mud that she will sink in if she steps in it. I love her imagination :)

Well, I should probably get back to work! Or take a nap...

Saturday, June 2, 2012


Tonight is the last night I will spend in the home I grew up in. It is the only home I have any real memories. It is where I grew up in to the person I am today. I think it just hit me. I'm feeling very nostalgic. A little sad even.

This is the home that we moved to when I was 10 years old after finally being able to get away from my birth father. My mom made us a home in this house, where we felt safe. We never really felt safe before. It was our haven. Our mom was our hero.

It held me through my angry teen years. I was free to cry and hurt and smile and laugh. All those things happened a lot. This home was a secure place to come home to when I went off to college. I came back and forth while I figured myself out. I got married out of this home. Then almost ten years after I left, I moved back to this home with my family, preparing to bring Sofie home. Even though I got a lot of raised eyebrows, and felt some apprehension myself, about moving back to my childhood home and living so close to my mom, it has been one of the best decisions we ever made. This is the only real home Sofie has known. It is has been the safe haven for her, just as it was for me. She has blossomed here, just like my siblings and I did.

Now, we are leaving. I'm excited for the change. The new house is brand spankin' new and laid out so much better. We are switching with my mom to be upstairs now so she won't have any steps and the kids have a bit more room to run around. It is a beautiful house where I think we will spend many happy years. Our next baby will be welcomed home there. My girls will start school from there. I might even start to grow old there :) We'll see what life has for us. I hope this new house is as special to my kids as the one I'm leaving tomorrow is to me.

Think of my kids as we are transitioning. Livi frequently wakes up with nightmares when her world is not on routine. I don't know how this move is going to affect Sofie either. She has already been hitting more often. I hope she doesn't regress too much and takes comfort in us, rather than her surroundings. Moves are hard on everyone, but I am concerned for my kids. Pray for all of us.