I remember Evelyn's birth well and cherish those memories. I didn't like being pregnant with either of my kids but I loved giving birth. There are certain things about those early morning hours bringing Evelyn in to the world that are still so vivid to me...
~ I remember eating leftover chicken teriyaki while watching Downton Abby and sitting on an exercise ball at 2am. I would take breaks to stand up and rock through a contraction then get back to my show.
~ I remember Livi waking up early before 6am and sitting beside me on the bed where I was resting between contractions. I had prepared her as much as I could to see me labour and watch her sister be born. I asked her if she was scared or worried. She said no but her face looked a bit concerned.
~ I remember getting out of the tub the last time and Kristi (our doula) saying to me that I sounded "pushy" and "maybe we should go..." and me adamantly denying the possibility that I would be that far along already. It was still such easy labor after all.
~ I remember the moment I realized I was much further along than I thought. I was kneeling in the back seat of the car, turned backwards, hugging the seat and trying to occupy myself with texting people and calling the hospital. I had just got off the phone with the maternity triage nurse who had said they couldn't call my midwife until I was assessed in the hospital, even though I told her I thought I was further along than I should be. My body changed. I think the transition was actually over and I began to push. It was so apparent and shocking that I reached down to actually check if I could feel her head. I tried to hide it from Jon and remembered a breathing technique our aunt, and doula for Livi, had taught me which helped me not to push. Jon heard it in my groans though and realized what was going on.
~ I remember Kristi's hand. I didn't think I would make it up to the maternity ward from the doors where Jon was dropping me off. I had gotten out of the car and had to bare down immediately. Kristi said something about when the contraction was over, we would run together. All I could see was her hand and I took it and we ran.... We made it to the hand sanitizer station, then to the information desk, then to the elevators. Each time I thought I would collapse and my baby would fall out of me but following each contraction she gave me her hand, which I grabbed tightly and we ran again. I must have looked quite hilarious. I was 40 weeks, fully dilated and 0 or +1 station running through a lobby bow legged. (+3 is the baby crowning)
~ I also remember the nurses face when I stepped out of the elevator. Jon had jumped out first in a panic demanding assistance, but they didn't take him seriously... then they saw me waddle out with my legs spread apart like a cartoon of someone sore from riding a horse for too long. I locked eyes with one nurse in particular and she just stood there wide eyed for a second. It still makes me laugh.
Evelyn's birth was not what we had planned. I had hoped for both Grandmas, Livi and a photographer to be there and capture those precious moments. I'm thankful I have such vivid memories in my mind and I will hold on to them tightly.
First morning picture. We had been out after midnight in the ER because of croup.
She was a grumpy 2 year old.
We did salvage the afternoon and got some birthday pictures!
Evelyn is a passionate 2 year old now. She is very dramatic and quite the little goof ball. She doesn't sit still and is not big in to cuddling, unless she is sleeping with me, then she must be pressed up against me. She is always on the go, loves to climb and jump. Her motor skill seem very well developed. Instead of walking she will jump around the house which I'm sure my mom downstairs appreciates a lot! She adores being outside and would live out there all day if the weather allowed. She has her own way of doing things and we are not permitted to interfere with her process without repercussions. She enjoys the process of learning and figuring things out. I think she may end up being my academic child because she likes the process of learning as much as the end result.
Her favourite foods are probably yogurt and cookies. She goes in to the pantry and helps her self cookies often. I need to watch that better. She adores her big sister Livi and Livi adores her back, but Sofie and her have a love/hate relationship right now. Developmentally they are about the same age, but they don't have the bond that twins might have. It makes for some loud, screaming baby days. I've already been seeing the love re-bloom so I think it will just get better as they learn to share and give each other the space that they need. I actually think they'll be great friends... one day.
How old are you?
"Two!"
Christmas birthdays are hard. So much else is going on and they get put off. I will need to do better with planning when she gets older. I managed to pull something together this year though. The BK's came swimming with us, then came over for dinner and cake. It was My Little Pony themed and I was pretty proud of the cake that I came up with and made :) Evelyn was very impressed too!
I suspect this next year is going to be filled with growing up and maturing. New skills and language are already turning up. I think she will be quite the little lady by this time next year but I hope she keeps a hold of her unique weirdness. It is fabulous to see. My kids birthdays are always a little bittersweet. I'm not completely sure I'm always ready for them to be growing up. Evelyn is my last baby so it is even more apparent to me with her. I'm so grateful for the passionate, strong-willed child she is becoming. Though strong-willed children are not the easiest to parent, I'm sure it will serve her very well later in life.
To Evelyn,
I hope you read this when you are older and know how completely loved you are. You were such a wanted surprise and I'm so thankful for you and how you have completed our family. These two years went fast for me. You are a very busy little girl. I want time to slow down so I can soak in these last baby moments with you.
Your passion is inspiring and I can't wait to see how you use it in the coming years. Your strong-will is going to take you places and serve you well. I can't wait to see how you change our world. You have already changed it for us.
Happy Birthday to my baby girl who is 2 now. You are precious beyond words.
I love you fiercely,
Mommy
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