Circle of Life

I love my grandparents. I don't think everyone can say that, either because they have passed away or they have not taken the time to really get to know them. I have been blessed to have been raised with a very close relationship with both my Grandma and Grandpa. Because my mother was on her own she relied heavily on her parents. They have always been there for her and for us. Although my Grandfather has taken a bit more of an old school approach to how he grandparents, he has been the only constant male figure in my life. He actually walked me down the aisle at my wedding. I am thankful for the role that he has played in my life. He has showed me how to be generous, forgiving, and strong... I think some of my stubbornness comes from him too though!

My Grandmother is one of the most beautiful women I know, inside and out. She is compassionate, authentic, humble, forgiving, hilarious (in a cute, naive, grandma-talking-about-sex kind of way), very loving and caring. Through all my struggles with religion and a relationship with God, I knew God was real, in part, because of her relationship with Him. When she prays, God listens. I'm not sure that I typically believe in a theology where God "answers" prayers. I think it can too easily lead to a belief that "good" Christians get a "yes" answer and "bad" Christians who don't pray hard enough get "no" answers. But, Grandma gets results every time and I'm not exaggerating.

I have been noticing for some time that they are getting older. Obviously, as time passes this happens but with recent events I am now coming to the realization that they may not be with us much longer. My Grandpa's health, especially, is deteriorating quicker than I was ready for. I took him to an appointment today and ended up breaking down and crying as I was driving away. It is hard to see such a strong, proud man lose his independence. I think it is harder for him to go threw the process though. My grandma worries about him so much too and her worry is starting to take a toll on her own health. It is fortunate that I live within about 8 blocks away from them. I've been able to help out with driving them to appointments, going on errands for them and helping to get their groceries. It is hard for them to ask for help though. They don't call me as often as they could. I try to stop in a few times a week and make sure I am available for them both. It is an honor I never really understood, until now, to be able to help care for two people that have cared for and helped raise me.

 I love that they have the opportunity to know their great-granddaughter. Grandma's face, literally, lights up at the mere mention of Livi. I don't know if Livi will remember them very well but I hope she knows what an impact they have had and continue to have on my life.

Four generations of Schmidt women. I am so blessed to be a part of this family.

Santa Clause is Coming To Town!

Last Friday, we set up the Christmas Tree. As soon as Halloween is over, I get the itch to start decorating for Christmas! Jon had to reign me in and give the stipulation of December 1st or the first weekend of advent, which ever comes first. With the destruction that Livi has caused to my beautiful Christmas tree this year I think I'll be holding off on decorating a bit next year. We haven't had any major catastrophes but the bottom two feet of the tree is very sparsely decorated now.

I was so excited to get the tree up and have a fabulous family evening. It really was all that I had hoped for... except that the dinner and dessert I made REALLY didn't turn out at all :( Oh Well, it'll make for some good memories though! We ate, drank and were Merry! Livi had so much fun. She was a little over stimulated but did really well. I think her favorite thing was the soft Nativity set that my mom has given us. She LOVES it and plays with it every day. She moves it from the bookshelf, where it should be, to the coffee table, to the floor and back to the bookshelf. It is quite cute. Once she went to bed Jon and I cuddled up on the couch and watched a movie. I love date nights :)

Yesterday we took Livi to see Santa Clause! The line up took much longer than anticipated and we where there for an hour! Livi tried to be patient but didn't completely succeed. We got a pretty great picture though! Hat was not quite on right but she smiled, which is more than I was expecting!

Listen To Your Kids

Sunday night at church, one of our teaching pastors interviewed a Christian gay musician, who grew up in the Abbotsford Christian community. He shared his story through hating who he was and beliefs that God and his family would not love him if they knew, in to a musician with a debut album that chronicles his journey. He is hoping that his music can help gay teens who are having similar experiences that he did and help bridge the gap between homosexuals and Christians.

His story was authentic and eye-opening but his music just mediocre. The amazing part of the evening for me was not his journey but his parent's. His whole family had joined us at our church that evening. With them sitting there, he gave some insight in to how they handled his "coming out". He didn't go in to detail but from the little that was said it sounded like he approached it in steps for them and it was received with a whole array of emotions. The parents raised their kids in a conservative Christian home with the traditional belief that homosexuality was a sin. 

All of this is just back story for the really fabulous part of the evening. The floor was opened up to questions and comments, which is when his father spoke up. I think the parent's emotions were still raw over everything. His father spoke to his son with such emotion, filling their relationship with restoration and love. For the seven of the 13 years that his son struggled struggled with his sexuality, the family had no idea. They assumed it was just teenage angst. While the father spoke he broke down crying, pleading with parents to listen to their kids. I can imagine there must be a lot of feelings of guilt on the parents side. He went up to the front, embraced his son and through tears, told him that he loved him. You can't get more organic or beautiful than that.

The father's words really made me think. Do I have ideas for my daughter's future? Yes, I do. Is it wrong of me to think or hope that she is going to be hetero sexual and have a family? (Not to say that homosexuals can't have a family.) Why do I have a preconceived idea for her? I think it must be my own upbringing and environment. How would I handle her being bi-sexual or homosexual? Will I create an open and accepting environment for her to feel comfortable enough to talk to me about anything? I really hope so! As the artist's father said "listen to your kids". That listening starts now. I want to be her friend as well as her mother. I want her to feel and know that I will love her no matter what. 

As far as my personal views go regarding sexuality, I'm fairly accepting. I believe as long as people are coming from a place of health and respect for themselves and their sexual partner/s, any relationship can be beautiful, no matter what that relationship looks like. I believe there is a kind of scale people are on in regards to homo or hetero sexuality. Some people tend towards the more hetero side of the scale, some are in the middle and bisexual, and some are more on the homo side of the scale. We joke about this "scale" at parties and often refer to it as a "sliding scale", dependent upon how many drinks you've had :)  Some people may think that I am living in a desensitized culture and opening my views up to much. That may be true in some instances, but wouldn't it be better to error on the side of love and acceptance than on the side that breeds judgment and seclusion? As a song that was covered on Sunday night says "You're frozen when your heart's not open."