New Year

2010 is done and 2011 is under way! After the crazy busy, no sleep Christmas we had, Jon and I were not interested in going out. We decided to ring in the New Year with Chinese food for dinner, Jon's family tradition, and Tex-Mex dip for a later snack, my family tradition. I was thinking about making Jon some oliebollen but figured we had more than enough food for the three of us, and lets face it... I didn't feel like cooking.

Jon and I played a few hours of Beatles Rock Band, which we had bought on sale with some of our Christmas money. We put most of our money towards the adoption but because we thought Livi would enjoy rocking out just as much as us, we did decide to splurge a little. For those of you who remember me saying I would never buy a gaming system because I hate them so much, we didn't buy it. We got my brother's Xbox 360 when he left for China. Some how that makes it a little easier to accept. I still hate them... but Rock Band is pretty fun. I can justify it with Rock Band being interactive and not something you can completely zone out on. Okay, so I'm a hypocrite.

I've been trying to get Jon watch Away We Go with me, but for some reason he has little faith in my movie choices. I'd seen it before, probably over a year ago. I saw it just after I had come through our year of hell. (I don't know if there is any one post I can link too. If you've followed along you know what I'm talking about. If not and you'd like to know, send me an email.) There was so much in that movie that I related to, that I still relate to. Watch the movie... particularly if you are new parents.

We finished the movie about five minutes before the ball dropped so we decided to stay up. I yelled "Happy New Year!" not thinking it would wake Livi on the other side of the house in a room that is virtually sound proof because it used to be the garage. Next thing we knew Livi came around the corner half asleep for a hug! I must have woken her up... or possibly the neighbors out side. What made me nervous was that we didn't hear her open the door through the monitor. If she starts sleep walking... like I have in the past... what if she goes outside?! Well, she can't quite open the front door yet because it sticks. I hope it stays that way. It was the perfect way to start the New Year though! After a kiss from Jon, I got a big, sleepy, warm cuddle and kiss from my baby! My mom was still awake up stairs too so we took Livi up to give her a New Years kiss too :)

What is 2011 going to bring? Well, according to my New Year's dinner Chinese fortune "Your fondest dream will come true within this year." This made me smile. Not that I believe these generic, vague cookie prophesies but this one is going to come true! Aside from getting married and having kids, all with Brad Pitt, adopting a child with Down Syndrome is my longest, fondest dream! I have the married and child dream fulfilled. I don't think it would be very productive to hold out hope for Brad Pitt in 2011, but I am going to get my baby! How amazing! I'm so excited. It is a weird feeling to know that in just a few months I'll have basically everything I ever wanted! I am seriously blessed.

To top off my excitement for this year, I'll also be getting to end it in Mexico! Jon's grandparents have decided to take the entire clan to Mexico for a family gathering! I've done a lot of camping in my life and even stayed in the occasional hotel here and there but I have never had the all-inclusive vacation that most people at least get on their honeymoon. Jon and I thought we'd be saving money by going to Whistler... it was basically just as expensive. I'm so excited to go on a vacation that is nothing but lounging on the beach and drinking margaritas all day! No stress, no responsibility (except our children of course) and pure relaxation!

I don't have any real resolutions like I did last year... my life style change was a bitter failure. I did lose nearly 20lbs at the beginning of last year but I'm sure that I have gained it all back in recent months. Getting to a healthier weight is always a goal of mine but it has proven a more difficult achievement than I thought. I don't know what I need to maintain a healthier lifestyle but I hope I get there one day. If there is anyone in Chilliwack looking for a project in me or exercise partner I'd be willing to try something new! I just don't think I have the energy to commit to any exercise program by myself right now. I'm very much an emotional eater too, so a new child coming in to our lives doesn't make that hurdle any easier. It takes a lot of discipline to hold yourself accountable. I have so much respect for people who can do it!

Any how, 2011 is looking to be one of the best years of my life! I can't wait! Happy New Year Everyone!

Mish-Mash

*Remember to check out my updated Adoption and About Me pages in the top corner!*

I've been neglecting my blogging... Sorry. Honestly, I've had too much to say so I've been avoiding it. I've been feeling a little overwhelmed with life right now. It's not even that I am particularly busy, I'm just juggling a lot of unknowns. I'm not good with unknowns. This might be a bit of a mish-mash post.

1. Adoption News... There is not much news. We have decided that we are ready to commit to a child... so we are waiting for THE call. We still have at least one more Homestudy meeting in May and need to finish all our education before then, but we could still get a referral before then. I've already been finding that every time the phone rings I am hoping it is the agency telling me our daughter is ready for us! I'm not really expecting THE phone call until the summer though. There are some things changing in the Ministry of Justice in Bulgaria right now. I don't really understand it all, but as of June, they are supposed to be opening up more children for international adoption.

2. Jon still doesn't know about his job position yet. Other's have applied for it so he will have to panel for it. Panelling means he will be interviewed by three or four people and have his answers scored. The person with the highest score gets the job. If scores are tied, then seniority comes in to play. He stands a really good chance but interviews still aren't scheduled! I'd like to know one way or another.

3. We have decided to move to my mom's basement suite in Chilliwack. I'm scared, but I know it is the right decision. Jon's main concern is his commute and my main worry is how I'm going to deal with being back in the neighborhood and home I grew up in. We have committed to staying there for a year to save money. We will be cutting our living expenses by at least 60%. It is a sacrifice we are making so we don't have to worry about finances and the adoption as much. Don't get me wrong, this decision has a lot of positives! Financial savings are HUGE! Livi gets a back yard to run around in and explore! My mom is right upstairs to help out and support us with our second child... which will be invaluable!

4. Livi is a two year old, who is not quite two! Oh My Gosh, I almost have a two year old! How INSANE is that?! Everything is "Nnnno!" right now and she has thrown a few little tantrums too. They mostly consisted of her crying inconsolably for something she wanted. She has also begun throwing things when she is frustrated... which then makes me frustrated! She is still an angel though. Her  vocabulary is expanding and she can converse pretty good now. She gets her point across with words mostly and mimics EVERYTHING we say! I went in to get her up one morning and she greeted me with a "Morning Darling!" and when she saw all the chocolate chip cookies that she helped make come out of the oven she got wide-eyed and said "Oh My Goodness!" She is so friggin' cute!

Livi is really good at wearing hats, which I love. She is accumulating quite the little collection and looks super stylish. I'll have to start getting some pictures out. She loves being dirty and is quite the little tom-boy. I love it... but wish the clean-up wasn't so difficult. Livi has also become quite the little singer. She has a few on her play list now... mostly from Sesame Street.

5. I'm still waiting for confirmation for some paperwork I sent in for Chosen Children. I wish it would hurry up! I'm feeling a little incapable with the whole charity thing. It is so much bigger than me but I don't want to just waste my efforts and give up! It is something I really believe is needed, but I don't know what I am doing!!! I'll figure it all out though. I would feel a lot more confident if I had some support from someone who has done this before though. So, if anyone knows anyone who could help out, I'd really appreciate it!

6. Lifestyle Change update... Easter was the beginning of the little rut I'm in. We were so busy then that I relaxed too much with going to the gym and all the delicious food was far too tempting. I have kept up my better eating habits and thankfully that has kept me from gaining anything back. I am still going to the gym, but not with the same drive that I had originally. I have not weighed myself in many weeks, but I think I am still slowly shrinking! I went through a bunch of my pants recently and threw out 6 pairs that were to big! I bought a pair of capris this week too, that are the same brand and cut as my favorite jeans, and they are a size smaller than what I bought last time! Hooray me! Although I still need to get my butt back to the gym more often. I think I would love to go to the gym with some one once or twice a week. Any takers?

My Little Performer

Livi is flourishing. She is coming out with more and more words and sentences everyday. It is so exciting to listen to her! I was feeding her the other day and she says to me "by myself mommy." I laughed and let her do it by herself... even though she made a huge mess. She has begun singing too! The Clean Up song. Not quite in key but real singing!

She had her 18 month vaccinations and she did great of course. She is officially 27lbs, and 85.5cm tall. I think that puts her in the 97th percentile for height and around the 83rd percentile for weight. Not entirely sure it that percentile thing is correct though. She is healthy and growing steadily, so I'm happy :)

I realized today that we are in trouble and may have a little preformer on our hands. I took her to an interactive story time at the library today. I think the performers were called the Trollson's. Livi sat herself down up front with all the big kids. I'm sure she was among the younger viewers, if not the youngest. They gave a warning at the beginning of the show that it might scare some younger kids, since it was geared towards five year olds more. I figured I'd see how she did and we'd leave if we had too.

So, since it was an interactive story time, I ended up getting picked to be one of the actors. I was a little nervous and out of my comfort zone at first, especially when they made me sing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" in front of the 70 people there, but I got in to it by the end. The kids thought I was a good actor :) Livi was very fascinated that I was up front, on the stage. Auntie Sessa came with us so she was with her, but Livi did end up joining me on stage. What a little performer! She loved it! Too much! She was getting in to the actions and wasn't at all scared of the troll, who had at least four of the kids crying. She even wanted him to pick her up! It was SO FREAKING ADORABLE! I am proud that different looks don't phase her. She is accepting of whatever malformations people may have... even big scary trolls... But, I'm also a little nervous because she will go and trust anyone!

I should update my lifestyle change too... I haven't done an official weigh in and measurement because I had to miss my last two group meetings where we do that, due to me having a terrible cold one week and Jon having to work late the next. Unofficially though I've lost another 4 pounds! That puts me at 14lbs gone in 9weeks! It seems like it is going slowly but I am right on target :)

Big Decisions Are No Good For Lifestyle Changes!

This week we have had two of the biggest decisions of our life to make. Needless to say my meal plan went even more out the window than it was and I only went to the gym once or twice. I'm not expecting good results this Wednesday at my weigh in :(

What were those big decisions that overwhelmed me with a need for easy, quick, and unfortunately not very healthy food?

Well, we have an opportunity to buy a beautiful, perfect, forever house for a bit of a deal but it would still stretch us financially. So, the question is do we jump in or hold back? It may not seem like such a hard decision to some... "Life is too short to be stressed about finances", but it is such a perfect house for our growing family in a perfect area! We've been discussing it on and off all week and we have a lot of different scenarios to consider, so we still haven't completely decided what we are going to do.

Speaking of our growing family, the other big decision has come with a child referral! It isn't typical to get a referral of a child before you've even started your homestudy, but because we are, essentially, adopting an "unwanted" child, there is no waitlist of adopting parents. She is beautiful, precious, adorable, a true gift, but two years older than Livi. Jon and I are really struggling with all the issues associated with adopting so far out of birth order. How would Livi adjust to Mommy needing to spend so much extra time with a child older than her? How would our knew daughter adjust to being the oldest child but not the first daughter? What about school? We didn't want the girls to be in the same grade. So many things are swimming around our heads.

I think we have come to a decision, or at least a compromise, on this decision. We are only just starting our homestudy and this was our first official referral. We don't want to jump in to something that wouldn't be right for our family just because it is the first opportunity. There is no legal commitment yet anyway, so we are going to say no for now and see which referrals we get at the end of our homestudy. If she is still available then, we will definitely consider her more. I feel horrible making this decision. Are we making the right one? How can I say no to a child in need? What if no one adopts her? Are we essentially sentencing her to a miserable life in an institution? How do I deal with these kinds of thoughts and not go crazy!? I do feel comfortable with our decision at the moment... but that doesn't mean in five minutes I won't change my mind and want to say yes.

Our first homestudy meeting is on Tuesday and we are VERY excited! We'll talk things over with our social worker than and get a better feel for how everything is going to work from here. Send your love and prayers over the next few months! We have some HUGE decisions and very exciting life changes coming up in the next few months!

Daddy, Be My Valentine

I've been neglecting my postings and realized I missed posting pictures of her Valentine to Daddy!

Livi decided the her Daddy is the only boy worthy to be her Valentine. To show him how much she loves him and that he was, in fact, HER Valentine, she thought she would bake him a cake. 

She decided on a Devil's Food cake with Coconut icing. She got all the ingredients out and started mixing.

 

 Mommy did have to step in and get her back on track when she forgot that the cake had to be baked before eating it all.

  

 Eating the batter was DEFINITELY her favorite part!

In the end her Valentine present turned out really well and, as long as she could help Daddy eat the cake, she was okay with Mommy being Daddy's Valentine too :)

 

Jon took me out to Restaurant 62 that night so we could have a more adult Valentine's Day celebration. It was very delicious and we had a good talk. We've been so busy lately that it was nice to take some time out and talk without the TV being on, Livi running around, or trying to clean things up. 

Lifestyle Change Update: I forgot to post my progress! With dinner out and the goodies consumed over Valentine's weekend I did not lose any pounds but I did loose 1 inch! So, I'm still counting that as a half success. I've gone back on the meal plan... as best as I can... and committed to going to a Speed Zone class once a week (which kicks my butt!), so I am hoping for better results in two weeks.

Update Post

I think I'm due for an update post...

Lifestyle change update:

Although my meal plan has slightly gone out the window, I have managed to keep a few of the original goals. No junk food has been in the house. I've only cheated with junk food a handful of times. I've been eating five smaller meals a day and doing very well at maintaining portion control and balance of carbs, fats and protiens. I'm eating a lot more fruits and veggies and some of the meals from the meal plan have been incorporated in to our every day eating. I would like to get back on to the meal plan more routinely but I'm not stressing about it because I know I am doing so much more than I ever have.

I can fell myself changing. I have more energy. I officially have pants that are too big for me! Clothes that were tight before are fitting perfectly and getting to big! My bathing suit that used to leave a line across my stomach from the rouching pattern on it doesn't leave a line anymore! I have an appointment to weigh and measure myself tomorrow so there will be an update about the actual numbers soon.

Livi Update:

Livi had her 18 month check-up yesterday. I can't believe that my baby is 18 months old in five days! She is completely healthy and doing well. I was sure she was going to weigh over 30 lbs ... since she was 24lbs 6 months ago. She is only 26.5lbs! I was shocked. She feels a lot heavier!. I don't completely trust the doctor's scale. When she gets her vaccinations in two weeks I'll be able to get more accurate measurement on her.

I'm not worried about her lack of weight gain. She is healthy, growing well, not overly skinny. She has become some what of a pickier eater. I wouldn't say she IS a picky eater... just pickier than is normal for her. I guess that goes with her age though.

She put herself in time out today. It was awesome. She spit water at me and I told her to go to time out. She ran over to the time out spot by the front door and turned around until I was finished counting to 30, then came back and gave me a hug and kiss. How cute is that! I've only really been enforcing it for opening the fridge door (which she does all the time) for the last two days and she already gets it! Well, maybe she doesn't get it, but she knows the routine!

Adoption Update:

We are trying to sift through a lot of burocracy. There is so much to consider. So many different rules for each different country. We might have to change agencies because our original agency doesn't work in one of the countries we are seriously considering. The cost for our lastest country of interest is more than any others. I tend to get a bit stressed about the details and finances but Jon has an "it will all work out some how" attitude. It is actually really refreshing. He is being so positive about it, which is slightly uncharacteristic. It does help to ease my mind and keep me convinced that we are doing the right thing. So much uncertainty though.

We can't do an actual commitment to a waiting chuld until we know which counrty we'll be able to adopt from. I so want to know what my daughter looks like and start showing her picture off to people :) I think this is a lesson in patience and faith. I don't have much of those sometimes.