Belated One Month

I missed blogging about Sofie's one month, so here it is!

Sofie has been home in Canada for over a month now and out of the orphanage for 6 weeks. I'm celebrating the one month from being in Canada because that is when we really felt like our adoption journey had ended and when we started seeing Sofie begin to develop. It has been such an eventful month. My entire life has completely changed! Some things are much more difficult than I had hoped they would be, but most of it is easier. Things are starting to calm down though. Sofie definitely has her fussy, grumpy days but for the most part we are on a schedule and things are getting a little more predictable.

Sofie has exceeded our expectations. She is now 22lbs, which is over 2 lbs up! Most of that has been in the last two weeks since she has begun to eat "real" adult food. On September 3rd she was still 20.6 lbs and was refusing to eat the baby food for her dinner so I decided to try and see if she'd eat what I was eating. She couldn't get enough and hasn't stopped since! She still doesn't chew probably so we have to be careful about the size but the textures don't seem to bother her too much! She is rather particular though. She will usually only eat off our plate. We've tried to trick her a few times in to eating the baby food I still have, so she has some trust issues :) She thinks if it is in her bowl then we are giving her baby food. Oops. Her development in the food area is amazing. I can still not get over how fast this transition was, especially with how big of an issue it was for her in Bulgaria!

She still has a bit of a hard time getting to sleep but this is slowly getting better. We have her on a strict schedule of up at 8am, nap 1-3pm and bed 8pm. We generally have to wake her up in the morning and at nap but if we let her sleep until she wakes up she will not nap at a decent time or go to sleep really late. She generally takes about an hour to relax enough to get to sleep. During this time we lay beside her crib, reassuring her, singing lullabies and modelling sleep :) The time to get to sleep is lengthened if she has been overstimulated during the day but in recent days we have had her asleep in 45 min! There have even been a few 30 minute down times and one 15 min! One particularly bad day we did give her a few drops of melatonin. It works really well for her. She goes straight to sleep with it. I think I'm okay with using it sporadically for her on rough days. She needs her sleep! Once she is asleep she generally sleeps the night through. There has only been a handful of nights where she has woken up crying. I love being able to teach her that I will always be there and come to her!

Sofie smiles every time we come in to the room. It is priceless. She is smiling and responding to us a lot more now too. It is quite awesome to see. She is a little moody though and can give the most deadly glares. When she is upset, mad, or frustrated, everyone knows it! She hits what ever or who ever is closest to her when she is mad and she can hurt! We are slowly figuring it out though. We remove her a few feet from what ever she is hitting or put her down. She usually yells at us then, but once she signs to us that she will be gentle she can come back up or get close again. Not sure if that is in any of the parenting books but it is working. I don't think she is ready for time outs or anything like that yet. Once she starts using her voice to talk, things should get a lot easier! Not sure if that is coming any time soon though.

She did say Mama though! On September 11 she was starting to cry in the hallway and called for me! Yay! She only says it when she is upset but she is saying it. It is the beginning! She understands a lot of English now, particularly when we are telling her not to do something :) Her thin hair patch is almost gone. It is filling in nicely. She rocks far less. We only see her rocking now when she is listening to music alone or when she is winding down to get to sleep in her crib. This is also a huge advancement. She rocked ALL the time in Bulgaria. She also clicks her jaw way less too!

Livi has been adjusting really well too. I think these last two weeks have really been great for her. She has realized Sofie is here to stay and her classes have started. She is in gymnastics on Wednesday nights and gets to go with one parent and no Sofie. She LOVES gymnastics and has been talking about it all summer. She is in the kindergym class now and doesn't have parent involvement. She is such a big girl! Her dance class has also started which she also really enjoys. We've pushed that these are things only big girls get too do and she takes a lot of pride in that. I think it helps her to have something that only she gets to do.

Livi is a very doting sister, most of the time. She helps out a lot in getting things for me to help with Sofie and  likes playing with Sofie, even if Sofie doesn't usually like Livi in her personal space. They are both learning each other's boundaries though. Livi does get easily frustrated with Sofie but doesn't like it if any one else does, even Jon and I. If we use our "stern" voice, Livi is the first one to remind us that Sofie is just a baby and doesn't understand. Just the other day I was telling Sofie not to touch the TV and she was not listening. Livi could hear I was getting frustrated. She turned too me and put her hand up saying "I can handle it. I can handle it." I wasn't sure if it was a smart parenting move to let her handle it but she was so sure of herself and I thought it was too funny to step in.

Another precious sister moment was last week. Livi had woken up first, like she usually does, gone to look in Sofie's crib. When she came over to our room I asked her what she was doing.
"Just looking at Sofie."
I asked, "What were you thinking?"
Livi said, "Just thinking that Sofie is so beautiful."
My heart melted a little bit.

All in all, this first month has been really great. We are getting a routine figured out. Sofie is attaching really well and Livi is feeling loved and cared for too! Now if Jon and I could only figure out how to have energy to spend some quality time together we'd be set! I can't wait to see how well the next month goes!

Sofie's Blessing

Today we celebrated the end to our adoption journey and the beginning of our newest parenting journey. My sisters helped throw Sofie a Welcome Home party! Around 40-50 of our closest family and friends were able to join us. It meant so much to us that everyone made such an effort to come out and meet Sofie. Sofie did really well with all the people there. She started getting fussy about 2 hours in but calmed right down when I took her inside for a break.

During the party we took a little time to incorporate Sofie's Blessing in. If you were reading my old blog when Livi was a baby you'll already know what this is. If not, I'll recap for you....

We have decided to do Blessings for our children instead of the typical Evangelical child dedications or the Orthodox baptisms. For Jon and I, being raised Evangelical, we both never really liked dedications. I couldn't wrap my mind around how I could dedicate a child to God who was already so completely and obviously of God and from God already. It didn't sit well with me. I also don't love the idea of having a dedication in a large church setting with people there who are not in your close community. In Evangelical dedication services that I've been too, they always have a part where the church affirms they will support the parents and hold them accountable to rear their child in a Godly manner. I'm sorry, that is just opening up a whole can of worms that I have issues with. Most of the church goers, in my experience, are not going to actually support the parents, so why vow to? If anyone who is not in my close community comes and tells me I am not raising my kids right or in accordance with their ideas of Godly rearing, there is going to be some very pointed and harsh words spoken. It is not their place. As for a baptism, this was more my issue. I just can't get totally on board with the theology behind an infant baptism, though I have no problem with other people choosing this.

A Blessing, for us, is a much better choice. We invite our friends and family, who we know are in our community who do and will support us. Because we have not really had any special bond with our church pastors, we have our closest friends do the blessings. This is also in part because when we did the Blessing for Livi as a baby, Jon's dad had just died and he would have done it for us. So, we needed our close friends involved to help fill that void. We chose to have the blessings in three parts. Blessing the Child, Blessing the Parents, and the Pastoral Blessing for the whole family. It is such a special and unique experience for us that seems to be catching on with our friends too!

Geoff was Jon's room mate all through college, best men at each others weddings, and have remained 'hetero-life mates'. He is also our most "pastoral/religious" friend so he was the obvious choice for the Pastoral Blessing. He opened up the ceremony and closed it with some words of affirmation and a prayer.

Brent was also one of Jon's room mates in college and we have remained good friends through out the years. Jon and Brent both met their wives in their college years and Mary and I have become good friends too! They are so good to us and help push us out of our comfort zones, which Jon and I need every once in a while. We asked them to do the Blessing for the Child. Mary made a beautiful quilt for Sofie as part of the blessing that will be treasured. Brent also read a poem to go with it.

Patchwork Quilt

This family is like a patchwork quilt

With kindness gently sewn

Each piece is an original

With beauty of its own

With threads of warmth and happiness

It's tightly stitched together

To last in love throughout the years

This family is forever.

- Unknown Author

Ben was another roommate of Jon's in college and the same as Brent, met his wife in his college years. All 6 of us have remained quite close through these last 10 years. Ben and Danielle became parents just a few months before we did, both times! So, they were the obvious choice to do the Blessing for the Parents :) Ben gave some words of wisdom and Danielle read a poem as well as gave some rocks with significant words of blessing written on them. The words were Space, Rest, Breathe, Release, and Gentleness. I've needed each of these things in the past few weeks and I'm sure in the coming years!

The Way

It is in spaciousness

That we breathe

Find stillness to rest in

Allowing what is

To be

Letting go of expectations

And embracing gentleness

As the way to truly heal

Opening and softening

We become

This is how we unlearn our way back to God.

- Lisa A McCrohan

All in all it was a fun party! My sister made a super amazing ladybug cake. She's been taking some cake decorating lessons and getting really good at it! The weather was amazing and we had the kid's pool out. I don't know what we would have done if it had rained. We felt so blessed by all the love and support we received from people. We truly are one lucky family. My only regret was that I didn't get to talk with everyone. I said goodbye to some people before I said hello to them. It is very different visiting when I have to attend to two little ones who need my constant attention and get in to everything!

Life is definitely full right now. Exciting, challenging, adventurous, difficult, joyful, fun, and frustrating all wrapped up together. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love my life, my husband, my girls, my family, and my friends :)

Livi got a few gifts at the Blessing too. 

This apron was from her Uncle Tony and Aunt Lisa. 

They searched high and low for this gift and it was much appreciated by Livi!

Goings On

These last few days have been going much better. Getting to sleep for Sofie and Livi still really sucks but Jon and I are working at remaining calm. This is a very difficult task at times, particularly at night when Livi is being completely defiant and Sofie won't settle. Us being calm seems to really help Sofie especially. She seems to REALLY pick up on our moods. Sofie is still taking about an hour to go to sleep at nap time and sometimes longer at bed time. We are laying down beside her crib to reassure her until she is asleep or nearly asleep. It is easier to do when both Jon and I are in the room. Livi gets jealous of the attention to Sofie and acts out keeping Sofie up at bed time. With one of us with one kid each, things tend to go a bit smoother and we keep each other calm too! Our rooms are attached so we sleep with the door open and she can see us in our bed from her crib if she wakes up but we generally have to wake her up. We are trying a strict schedule of up at 8am, nap time at 1 until 3 whether she sleeps or not, and down by 8pm again.

Yesterday, I took Sofie to see Kathy. She is a doctor in Traditional Chinese Medicine. I love her. She has done a lot for my entire family. I can't recommend her enough! She made some suggestions of food to watch out for with Sofie that will hopefully help her get healthier and sleep better. She also recommended a few minerals that we are going to try. Sofie is obviously deficient in some of her nutrition and minerals but we are working hard at getting her healthy! The bags under her eyes that she had in the orphanage are almost gone and her color is so much better. She was so pale when we first got her. I'm so amazed at the change. Hopefully these mineral changes can help with her sleep too.

Melatonin really worked for Sofie. We had tried it at nap time for a few days and it really worked. She slept for over two hours both days but then wouldn't sleep until 10pm each night. We weren't sure which way was worse. We didn't want to give her more at night because we've heard that dependency can form on melatonin so we don't want to prolong or over use it at all. With her hour and a half settling time though, we are definitely thinking of using it again. We're going to give Kathy's suggestions a bit of time to work though before we go back to it.

We were able to go to the water park the other day. Sofie really liked the swing but the water was too cold for them to really play in. Livi is more of a pool girl anyways. With how much Sofie likes baths, I suspect Sofie is too.

Enjoying the swing way too much :)

 Staying close to Mommy!

 RUN!!!!

Sofie has all but not given up baby food! She refuses to eat her food unless it is the fruit purees. She has eaten fish and rice, taco salad and mac 'n cheese. She thinks that we are trying to trick her too and won't eat it unless it is off our plate from an adult fork! A little frustrating but great developmentally! She has made leaps and bounds in this area. She is still not chewing properly but it is coming. We just have to make sure she gets small bites and it is mostly soft. I'm not sure what we are going to do with all the baby food I bought!

Today was Livi's first day of gymnastics! All summer she has been talking about how she is going to gymnastics in September. She was so excited. She was in the big girl class all by herself with kids up to 5 years old! She didn't need Mommy or Daddy to do it with her. I must say I was exceptionally proud of her. She listened to the teacher like a pro and did everything! The teacher was really impressed with her jumping and bum drop ability! She starts dance on Tuesday then the following week both girls, with Mommy and Daddy, have a music class that I think is going to be tons of fun! Livi isn't in preschool yet so we figure some extra activities are good for her :) 

Learning

I've been a little behind on my blogging. Taking care of two three year olds is a lot of work! They are giant black holes of energy. It has been so much fun though. They are such an amazing blessing and I'm amazed at how much I am continuing to learn!

Being a parent of two is so different than one. My house is always dirty. Laundry is never ending. I continually find splatters of food in places that they weren't eating. Toys are every where and my floors are never clean, even right after I clean them! The biggest thing I am learning is to let my house go. It doesn't have to be clean at the end of each day. It is okay if there are toys in every room. If the dishes don't get done in the evening, I can catch up with them in the morning. I think I'm dealing with the every day messes okay, but when I've slacked a little and not cleaned the floors or bathroom all week I do get overwhelmed and grumpy about it. I'm learning to let the cleanliness of my house go. 

I'm learning to cope on little sleep again. I'm getting more sleep than if we had brought home an infant, but it still isn't as much sleep as I was getting with only one kid! I want sleep with out feeling like I should be doing something else!

I'm learning what both of my girls need from me and when. Livi needs one on one time where she recognizes that I am choosing to spend time with her and not Sofie during this time. I realize that this has a lot to do with her jealousy issues right now but this is something that I can do for her, when the timing is appropriate and Jon is available to be with Sofie or she is sleeping. Morning cuddles have been something her and Jon have been enjoying and I've been spending some big girl time with her before bed while Jon puts Sofie to bed a little earlier than Livi. Sofie needs me to read her properly and move at her pace. I am getting much better at this but sometimes it takes her following me from room to room for 20 minutes before I realize she wants something. I need to slow down for her. 

All three of us are learning things about Sofie and how to make everyone more comfortable. Jon and I are taking turns getting up early with the kids and feeding them breakfast. We are trying new solutions for Sofie's sleeping issues. Sleep sacks are going to be our saving grace for the winter for her and I actually think Sofie feels a little more secure in them. Our only problem is going to be finding them big enough for her. It may resort to me trying to remember how to sew! Staying asleep is not Sofie's problem, but getting to sleep peacefully can be a little challenging still, particularly at nap times. We are laying with her until she is asleep but this is still not always working well. I think we are going to see if white noise helps her. We just need to figure out something that she can't reach and that doesn't bother Livi to much. My sister suggested Melatonin which I think I'm going to try too :)

Livi is handling Sofie's issues like a pro. Each of them have there daily melt downs but I figure this is fairly neormal too. They have both been through a lot of changes. Sofie can't communicate all her frustrations well yet and Livi is a little too good at communicating sometimes :) 

This is one of the reason's we need sleep sacks for her.

She tosses and turns like you wouldn't believe and there is no hope of keeping a blanket on her.

I was really proud of Livi's "realistic" drawing! She said it was a 

car with a tail!

These first few weeks have been filled with eager visitors wanting to meet Sofie. Sofie has been handling the changes, new people and new language amazingly. She has exceeded our expectations. I had expected to shelter her a lot more than we are. I had expected to have her regress at first. I had expected more tantrums and fear from her. I didn't think I'd want people touching her and picking her up. 

Every once in a while people picking her up does make me stop and wonder if it is too soon, but I remind myself that she is three years old. A three year old wants people to play with her. We are still very diligent in being the ones to comfort her and respond when she is fussing but it is okay that she plays with other people, I think. She may have regressed a little in the food area but she has made leaps and bounds in the past few days. Yesterday she packed away more food than I ever thought she could. Her stomach was hard and protruding! Today she ate "real" rice and pesto salmon! Not pureed! I could cry I am so proud! Plus she ate it off my fork! A big fork that poked her tongue and everything! This is seriously a big milestone people :)

Sofie meeting Opa and DD!

Sofie meeting Uncle Tony!

Auntie Lisa meeting Sofie!

Tonight was also another big milestone. Sofie woke up for the first time, during the night, crying. I got to pick her up and hold her while she settled, whispering that she was safe and Mommy had her. This is something I doubt she has ever experienced. It was such a beautiful moment for me. I was then thinking how different these milestones are from having a birth child. This tiny moment around 10:30 at night holding my crying daughter was as special to me as the first time Livi took her first steps or rolled over. It was magical. 

Life

Life is good... hard, but good. I'm going to talk for a minute about the hard stuff....

Helping Daddy with the recycling.

This adoption is truly a dream come true, but it has brought with it a lot of challenges. Most of the challenges were considered and expected before hand, but it still doesn't make it easy! Jon and I had talked excessively about the possibility of Sofie having certain behavioral issues but we had hoped we'd slide by with out Livi having too many issues. For the most part Livi is doing really well but she is having some jealousy and regression. She usually wants the parent who is taking care of Sofie at the moment. She has been very defiant, overly emotional and tells us she is going to do things that are not allowed. She has showed her regression too. I don't quite understand it and am finding it so frustrating. She has been potty trained for well over a year and in the past two days she has peed her pants 3 times and partially pooped in her pants twice. 

I know Livi is in transition and her whole world has been interrupted and turned around. We didn't bring home a tiny baby who just sits there, sleeps, and eats. We brought home a walking three year old who engages with us, seeks out our attention and has her own little personality. It seems to be very different from my friends experiences. Easier in some ways but harder in others. 

Bed time at night is the worst. Each night Livi is ridiculous. She won't lay down, bangs the wall, lays down the other way, wakes up Sofie so she gets out of bed and get us to come back in the room, and has a million excuses to gets out of bed. It is so beyond frustrating. Bedtime, which used to be a 15 minute routine is now up to an hour and a half. It is so ridiculous.

Tired out from the sun :)

Sofie is doing so much better than we could have hoped for. She is still indiscriminate with who she approaches and plays with but she is coming to us for food and comfort. I don't think I've seen her go to any one else for that recently. Her eating has improved more than I could imagine. She rarely cries during meals now and she has a pretty good appetite! She is still VERY picky about what she eats and prefers sweet things. What kid doesn't, right? She eats 8 month old baby food. The 12 month stuff has chunks which she won't eat. She still hasn't drank much. We tend to get a few sips of chocolate milk, and sometimes milk, in to her each day. Yesterday her Gramma got some juice and water in!!! This is the first time she has drank water since being at the orphanage! Yay Gramma!!!

Clapping with Auntie Maggy!

Sofie  is very quiet but she is definitely discovering her voice. She has started letting people really know when she is mad... usually because we are taking her out of the bathroom. She is starting to say mama more but I'm still not sure she is associating it with us. She is cuddling with us as she goes to sleep, instead of doing her orphan rocking thing that I hate! I love cuddles with my kids and I love that Sofie is choosing to cuddle with us! She is playing with toys too, which is so awesome. She stacks rings, loves playing with necklaces and tea sets. I think she might end up being really girly. She doesn't like barrettes in her hair yet though. She just started kissing us today though! I love it! They are so cute and usually have a little tongue in there but I think that is fairly normal for her developmental level. She can wave goodbye and blow kisses to. That came from the orphanage.

Sofie still grinds her teeth and clicks her jaw but she doesn't do nearly as much as she did in the beginning! The grinding teeth is also a symptom of low muscle tone and control in her jaw, not just a coping mechanism of the orphanage. She rocks way less... I will sometime go all day with out seeing her do it. She must be feeling so much safer and dependent on us to help her cope. She doesn't need that extra coping mechanism! Hooray!

Happy girl :) Signing for food here.

Nap times still suck though. Today, she took nearly two hours to get to sleep at nap time today. But she did finally sleep! The parents of child with DS need to more stubborn than the child! She doesn't generally cry like she used to when going to sleep. She just takes for ever to settle. Surprisingly she goes to sleep much smoother at night. Livi has the issues at night. Sofie's sleep is very unsettled. She is a pretty heavy sleeper but very unsettled. She tosses and turns like you couldn't even imagine. Most days she is ending up on the floor. She usually falls off feet first and doesn't hurt herself, but sometimes it is head first... I think we should probably set up the crib. I feel kind of bad for Sofie because in the orphanage she wasn't allowed to explore her world and never got hurt. In the first few weeks she has been with us she's gotten a few bumps on the head, a scraped knee, and a few good scratches on her arm! I think it is good for her though :)

We took her to see a fabulous pediatrician who looked her over and is making some referrals for us. The appointment will cost us over $200 because we don't have Sofie's citizenship card yet and can't get her Care Card with out it! I hope it comes fast. The pediatrician said she does have a murmur in her heart that we'll check out and wants to get a baseline for a bunch of things but over all she is doing well. Of course she is under weight and he thought what we were doing was fine. Basically get anything we can in to her, no matter what it is. She is 20lbs. That is in the 5th percentile of the DS growth chart and up half a pound since we got her, assuming the scales were both accurate. If I remember right she is 32 inches tall, which puts her under the 25th percentile for height. We also met with the Child Development Center this week. Sofie will get Physiotherapy, Occupational therapy and Speech Therapy! Yay! The CDC was really great too! Sofie is definitely getting a good start!

Riding on Daddy! Way to much fun!

Being goofs.

Bedtime story!

As far as parenting, I think I'm really starting to feel attached and like Sofie's mom. I love her completely, although it is still easier to love her in her easy, happy times. I think that is true with any child though :) It seems to be growing more slowly than with Livi though. I don't quite remember how things progressed with Livi. I remember not feeling it right away like Jon but I don't know exactly when I was fully attached. With Sofie, I think I'm so much more aware of the process and analyzing all my feelings. Not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.

With Livi, I was the main caregiver, I was her food and usually her comfort. I spent 24/7 with her. I didn't have the freedom to go out for more than an hour with out her. I felt like I was the only one who knew what she wanted and needed and when. With Sofie, Jon is home full time until December (yay for government jobs and topping up EI!). I'm not the only one who can feed and comfort Sofie. He is very much in the exact same role as me here. I love this experience, but it is so different. I feel like I should feel guilty if I leave Sofie at home and take Livi grocery shopping, but I don't. I enjoy grocery shopping sometimes and am loving the one on one time with my first daughter. Is this normal? I think it probably is.

The First Few Days

I think we are all settling in to our new lives as well as we could possibly hope for. We are all figuring out our new routines and what Sofie and Livi need from Jon and I. I am loving waking up to my girls every morning. They both wander out of their room and give huge smiles at our bedside each morning.

Jet lag hasn't been too much of an issue. We've felt a little sick but sleeping is going great! It was much easier coming home with jet lag was much easier than going to Bulgaria. In Bulgaria we kept waking up at 2am hungry! We've been sleeping through the night fine! The girls have been too!

Both girls are on the same schedule already which I'm pretty amazed at. They are even sleeping in the same room relatively fine too! They go to sleep at night around 8pm and have been asleep before 9 each night. Jon or I generally "sleep" in the big chair with them for the first 30 minutes until they are both settled. Nap times have been a little more difficult but we only had to move Livi to our bed once. They have both eventually napped each day. I'm convinced that so far this is MUCH easier than having had a birth child.

 Having a fun first bath together!

Jon and I are really enjoying both of our girls! Livi is a doting, patient, understanding sister. She wants to hold Sofie's hand and hug her all the time but is really good a backing off when Sofie has had enough. She always wants to know where Sofie is and be in the same room as her. Sofie is developmentally at a 9-12 month old baby with a 3 year olds strength and agility. She hits and pulls hair. We are working hard at teaching her that is not appropriate. I have been amazed by how Livi is handling that. If Sofie is hitting, Livi backs off immediately. When Sofie grabs her hair, Livi just goes still and quietly waits for Jon or I to deal with Sofie. She hasn't cried, or even been mad at Sofie. We explain daily that because Sofie can't talk she shows her fear and frustration by hitting, but we need to teach her other ways. Livi seems to be really understanding. She is empathizing too and said yesterday that if she were Sofie she'd be really scared moving to a new home and country too. I'm so proud of my big girl. Livi is definitely exhibiting some frustration and inappropriate behaviours, but I'm not sure if this is more because of Sofie or more because she had so many different rules with different caregivers for two weeks. I'm sure it is a combination.

  Meeting Opa :)

 Picture time!

Posing with Oma! 

It is so much harder to get a good picture with two kids!

Sofie seems to be adjusting really well too. She gives us lots of smiles. She is eating SO much better too. She still prefers baby pablum cereal but we are pushing other food and this morning discovered she loves mushed up banana and Cheerios! We even got a few sips of chocolate milk in her! She has her fussy times in the day but is pretty content most of the time. She has done great with Parker. We were worried, but we introduced them by showing her that we could hold and pet him. She was totally fine and has even pet him since by herself! She is doing okay in her big girl bed. We have a rail up but she has still managed to fall out of bed two out of the four nights we've been home. I think we are going to keep trying her in the bed though... unless she starts falling out more nights than she stays in... or breaks something :)

 Sofie's first hair cut with us. 

Her bangs were driving me nuts so this was a priority :)

Sofie and Livi are slowly starting to play together and Sofie is learning a lot from her sister! The first morning the girls were waiting in the living room for Jon and I to get breakfast ready. I walked in and found both girls standing on the coffee table and Livi trying to teach Sofie how to jump on to the couch! I think we are in for some pretty awesome adventures! In the two weeks we've had Sofie and the 4 days we've been home Sofie has developed so much. She cries so much less when it comes too food. She's drank a little today! She understands the signs for 'more', 'all done' and 'food'. She looks plumper. I'm not sure how much weight she has actually gained but her tummy is rounder and I think she has more water in her body or something because I swear there is more meat on her. The bags under her eyes when we first met her are mostly gone. She has been putting more things in her mouth and exploring her oral development! She is even starting to play with toys! She was stacking rings yesterday and playing with Livi's teacup... not throwing them!

I finally ironed out the confusion about seeing a pediatrician and am taking Sofie to see a highly recommended pediatrician tomorrow morning. We have an appointment with the Child Develpment Center on Tuesday. Friends are starting to stop by for visits and I'm thankful for the company and support. Sofie is on the right track and I get to join her on the journey. She has already taught us so much and added so much to our lives. I'm so thankful for her! I feel so content right now. 

Coming Home - Aug 14

Sunday morning, Sofie woke up just before 8... that's 10pm on Saturday for BC'ers. Keep this in mind....

We left for the airport around 11:30am  and took off on our first flight from Sofia to London at 2:15pm Bulgarian time. Sofie fell asleep pretty quickly after take-off. The first 4 hour flight was quite uneventful and stress free... despite over 10 kids on the small plane. Sofie slept for the first hour and a half though! 

 Ready to go!

Getting in to and out of London was a little more stressful. We weren't sure where to go for the connecting flight and we weren't counting on having to go through security again. London was a little more stringent on their security standards then Sofia. Since we had baby food with us they searched both our bags, took everything out, made me taste 50% of the sealed jars and had us repack it all. They were nice about it but it was still really annoying. Sofie was getting frustrated and acting out a little plus we only made our connecting flight with just five minutes to spare. Jon was freaking out a little.

The 9.5 hour flight from London to Vancouver was, at times, very low. Sofie slept five minutes here and there and between hours 4-6 she just cried on and off... Mommy did too. I felt terrible for her. She was so uncomfortable and miserable. There was nothing we could do to help her. Thankfully, she cries pretty quietly so she didn't disturb to many other passengers. For only sleeping for a total of two hours in the 23 hours of being awake Sofie did incredible. I don't know how it was physically possible for a toddler to be awake that long and be so mellow, but she is making it a habit of surprising us every day!

 So Tired.

Finally landing around 6:45pm was such a release of emotions. Sofie was officially a Canadian citizen upon landing on Canadian soil and we were so close to seeing Livi! We had one or two more passport checks to get through and luggage to claim then we were free. Everything seemed to move pretty quickly and we raced to get out of there! 

 Everyone waiting! Jeremy and Andrew's girlfriend are behind people.

Sessa was taking the picture.

Racing to Livi!

 

I started crying even before we reached the turn to the meeting area. I was holding Sofie and Jon was pushing the cart. Everyone was at the front of the waiting area. I remember hearing Liz, I think, say "there they are!" I think I started running at this point. Livi was screaming "There's Mommy and Daddy!" She had a big sign too but I could only see her clearly. She was on the verge of tears too but I think happy tears confused her :) I grabbed her up in my one arm with Sofie in my other. She kept looking at my "wet" face and back at Sofie. Jon was a few short steps behind me and scooped Livi up from me. It was one of the happiest moments of my life. All four of us were together.

 Together!

 Livi was in awe.

Livi was fascinated with her "sister Sofie". It was so precious. She wasn't sure if she could touch her or not... I think she just wanted to feel if she was real and give her hugs and kisses. Sofie was a little overwhelmed but took it in stride as usual! We sat in the arrival for a few minutes while everyone took a ton of pictures and got their chance to say hi. The car ride home was long but I think I fell asleep so it passed by quickly. Sofie fell asleep, finally around 9pm in the car too. That's right, she slept for two hours in twenty three!

 

Meeting Auntie Liz!

 

 Meeting Auntie Sessa!

Meeting Marmee!

Meeting Gramma!

When we got home, we just transferred Sofie to her bed and collapsed ourselves. For the first night we had decided that we would try Sofie on her 'big girl' bed, Livi could choose who she wanted to sleep with in our bad and the other parent would sleep in Livi's bed by Sofie. This was a great arrangement and the timing of getting home was perfect! We all slept until 8 in the morning! Hooray! Livi woke up once to go pee and then was scared of Sofie's snoring :) Although she had originally chosen to sleep with Daddy, when she got scared she wanted Mommy :) I was fine with that because it meant I could sleep in my own bed! Jon was a little miffed that I stole his spot but since it was 3 in the morning I figured we each got about half a night in the good bed!

Waking up, at home with both my girls was priceless. We pulled them both in bed for some cuddles. Livi was adoring and Sofie was eating it up! This moment was what we had been waiting for. It was perfect. I love my girls.

 Morning cuddles!

 Sister Love!

Goodbye Bulgaria!

We leave today! Thank God! All three of us get to go home together! I thought I would put together a Likes and Dislikes list to commemorate our goodbye....

Things I Like about my time in Bulgaria:

1. The history!
2. The random Roman artifacts laying around the city.
3. The buildings and architecture!
4. The driving... it is so fast. I believe I was born to drive in Europe, Canada can't handle me.
5. The luxury for cheap!
6. Cheap Taxis.
7. Cheap alcohol. 
8. The hospitality of people.
9. The shoes! 
10. The fashions, particularly jumpers.
11. The weather has been awesome! 
12. Most people here speak a little bit of English! It makes it a lot easier on us English-only speakers!

Things I Dislike about my time in Bulgaria:

1. The standard of waiting tables. Horrible. They don't check on you. They don't bring your bill. They take forever. Food comes out at different times!
2. The uneven and un-kept sidewalks.
3. Graffiti everywhere. 
4. How the poor are soooo poor. That sounds weird. But it is true. The homeless in Vancouver are poor but there are things in place to help them and make sure they get food and sometimes shelter. The poor here don't have any safe guards. They wanted our left over food. A Vancouver homeless person would never do that. This is a big place that Bulgaria could step up. 
5. The food. Some of it tastes quite delicious but it is so different. I have not had a normal bowel movement since I've been here... both extremes.
6. The orphanage system. My views on this are obviously apparent already. 
7. How EVERYONE chain smokes here. Seriously, how are they all not dying of cancer?
8. The lack of recycling and water conservation. One of their main exports is mineral water and everyone drinks it here so there is SO much glass and plastic bottles wasted!
9. How this is a very child-unfriendly country. Not much for little kids to do, no kids menus or crayons in restaurants, and I only saw a handful of local kids at all! 

Being here with Sofie really was the right choice. Her having our undivided attention has been pretty invaluable. I think it will really go a long way on this attachment journey. She has come so far this week with us too! She already understands the signs for 'more', 'all done' and 'food'. She cries WAY less while eating, mainly because we aren't force feeding her and she is now able go communicate when she wants more or she is all done! She will still go to random people but she definitely recognizes Jon and I and will choose who she wants to hold her and when. She loves tickles and getting a reaction from us when she rolls herself off the bed and we run to catch her. She LOVES baths... to much. I swear she said "mama" in the bath today too! Not sure she completely understands what it means though. She loves music, dancing and interacting with people. I am so beyond excited to get home to where I am comfortable and where I can be with BOTH of my girls but I have really appreciated what I have learned and experienced while in Bulgaria. I am so thankful to this country for giving us such a precious, wonderful child!

We are off now! Pray for an uneventful trip, with no tantrums from Mommy, Daddy or Sofie and pray that Sofie eats well and we have enough cereal for her to last the trip... it will be cutting it close!

PS - My sister is going through a hard time today. The girl she works for got really sick all of the sudden, was put on life support and has chosen to be taken off today. She's had many medical issues throughout her life and was tired. It doesn't look like she will make it. She is very young and very loved by many. Pray for peace for everyone. It will be a day of extreme's for Sessa... meeting her niece tonight, after possibly losing one of her dear friends the same day.

The End - Aug 12 & 13

Yesterday was a getting-things-done-because-we-are-leaving-in-two-sleeps-day! We had to find gifts for all the wonderful people who have watched our child for these last two weeks. There is LOTS of clothes stores here but I wasn't about to buy clothes for every one, plus the clothes fit really small apparently. There are a few jewelry stores around but they are all kind of cheap jewelry, like the kind you'd find at Claire's or Ardene's in the mall in BC.

After breakfast Jon and I headed out to Anido one last time. We owed Alex a little more money that we didn't have on us the day before. We said our goodbyes then continued on our shopping ventures. Sofie was a little fussy and tends to make shopping more difficult in the best of times so I went to the mall alone and Jon went back to the hotel with Sofie. This was a much less stressful approach. I was able to look and decide with out the pressures of a whining baby and husband! I found some little treasures I think :)

Sofie got a little ridiculous in the afternoon because she had only slept for about 15 minutes. We had planned to go look for an icon at the Cathedral together, but Sofie had other plans. We made it too the lobby where we sat down and offered her food, again, which she didn't really want. She didn't really want anything... or she wanted everything, not sure which. Jon went on to the Cathedral alone and I stayed in the lobby waiting  and entertaining our babe. I did get to enjoy a chocolate mouse and rum and coke while we waited though!

Jon had his own adventure. As he was passing through the market in front of the Cathedral, he stopped to look at a possible gift for someone. The owner of the little stand grabbed him and started yelling at him in Bulgarian. Apparently, he didn't want Jon to touch the treasure. Not sure if he thought Jon was going to steal it or break it, but he should be allowed to touch if he is interested in buying it, right? Anyway, since he was shaken up from the encounter he ended up going the wrong direction back and took a lot longer to get back to us... giving me time to justify my treat :)

We didn't go out as far as we were planning for dinner. Although Sofie had calmed down a little bit, she was no where near her happy self yet. We stayed close to home and went to one of our regular restaurants for dinner. After Skyping with Livi we attempted to put Sofie to bed... That took an epic hour and a half. She finally fell asleep on the floor and we moved her to the bed. Jon and I watched Tosh.O on You Tube until much to late then settled in for a long peaceful sleep :)

Sofie slept in until 9am on the 13th! Yay! After brunch we went for a little walk in the park behind our hotel. We tried to get Sofie to play on the play ground but there were a lot of kids and she really didn't know what to do. So we went to sit by the fountain and took a little walk. When we came back to our room we all had a two hour nap! Go Sofie! Thank you!

Hanging out by the fountain. 

The beautiful fountain behind our hotel in front of the National Theater.

Mommy and her baby!

"What are you looking at?"

"Our" beautiful park!

Random statues every where. This one didn't make sense to me. 

Gettin' her groove on and waking up with some pop music videos. 

I hate rap, random girls singing and gyrating, and Justin Beiber. 

We took it easy in the afternoon. I think Jon and I are just really done being here and very excited to get home tomorrow! We went for dinner, came back to the hotel for Skyping and baths, then bed time. Sofie was not going to bed tonight. Maybe she could pick up on our excitement? Anyway... finally and 9:45pm Jon slung her and went for laps around the park. Finally success! I finished packing while he was out and now just have to check in for our flights tomorrow!

Happy Birthday To Me - Aug 11

Today was my birthday. I am 29 years old. One more year left and I'm 30! Saying it out loud sounds old but I still feel like I'm in my early 20's and don't know what I'm doing half the time.

The day started out by Jon letting me sleep in a little bit... until it was his turn. When I got up I fed Sofie and gave her a bath because she still had food in her hair from the day before. I finally got Jon up to go shopping for gifts for everyone back home. It's been a little difficult to shop here. There are so many stores but nothing that seems very quality and they are all kind of the same. Maybe I'm just being to picky. We went to the flea market in front of the Alexander Nevski Cathedral. There is some hand made arts and crafts there but mostly WWII memorabilia. Do you want a compass with a swastika on it? That's where to get it! Lots of communist stuff too. We found a few little gems in the market. Sofie napped in the sling most of this time, which was fine with us! Two days in a row! Hooray! 

Daddy's turn with his sling!

We made our way to the Anido office to take them out to lunch as a thank you for everything. Lunch was a lot of fun. Neli, the President of the Anido, Alex, our contact for Anido, and Nasko, our translator came with us. We learned a lot! Apparently, when Alex had gone to the orphanage to get video of Sofie for us, he had to wear a mask because of apparent germs from the outside. Poor Sofie must have been scared of this weird masked man with a video camera! Also, on our first visit to the orphanage, we were not supposed to be allowed to take pictures of Sofie. Nasko kept this from us though and just handled it. He told the staff that since Sofie is our legal child we most certainly we allowed! Thank-you Nasko! Those first pictures of meeting Sofie are so special to us and to our family and friends! Apparently there was some problems with the previous director of the orphanage too, but Alex didn't go in to detail about it, so I don't know what that all meant.

We loved getting to know the three of them and really felt their genuine joy for what they do. It isn't just their job. They really believe in the well-being of these orphans. Alex, especially, is so caring towards kids and Sofie. He is always wanting to play with her and hold her. His wife and him had some fertility problems and even did IVF a few times. IVF finally worked and they got there little girl they were hoping for! Although he hasn't adopted I think he has a real appreciation for these kids and understands what a lot of the adoptive parents have been through. Neli is also a lawyer and is on the board of people who are revamping the Bulgarian child protection laws. She seems to really have a passion for plight of the under privileged children in Bulgaria. She was quite interested in learning what kind of supports and services we will be utilizing once we were back in Canada. Nasko is just a really kind and humble man. He has one son, about the same age as my girls, so he related and played well with Sofie. 

Our goodbye lunch! 

Left to Right - Neli, Me, Sofie, Jon, Alex, Nasko

 Sofie did so well with our big morning out so we decided to take it easy in the hotel room for the afternoon. We played, cuddled and Skyped with Livi! We found a bottle of wine on our bar too with a birthday card from the hotel! Fancy Schmancy! After we took notice of how much money we had left Jon said I could get a massage for my birthday in the spa downstairs! Since the massages are so cheap here ($35 Canadian for a full body massage in a 5 star hotel!), he threw in a facial! Right after Skyping with Livi, I got to enjoy an hour and a half of pampering! It felt so nice. I love how open Europeans are with their bodies too. They don't think it is a big deal. The girl did leave while I was undressing but then just took off the towel that was draped on me and left half my butt showing for most of it. Then when I was dressing to change rooms for the facial the new girl walked in, she did apologize, but then just stood there waiting with the door open :) That would never happen in Canada! I could do with out some of the sexual art in the coffee stops over here, but a little nudity never hurt anyone! Lets face it, we all like to be naked!

 My birthday present from the hotel!

I returned from my massage to find my baby sleeping! Jon had a really easy time putting her to bed with out me! I was so thankful for that. I love this co-parenting thing :) We opened the wine and lay down to watch a few episodes of Hell's Kitchen we've been missing while we've been here. We got to bed a little late but all in all, a really fabulous birthday!

Still Here - Aug 9 & 10

Tuesday was started on the heals of a really bad night for Sofie. She woke up a few times crying and woke up early. So Jon and I took turns napping in the morning. We all just hung out in the air conditioned room too. It was apparently 38 degrees outside. Sofie, of course didn't nap today either so we headed out for some lunch around 12:30pm. I was very hungry by that point!

Sofie was, as usual, smiles and giggles, although she hadn't been wanting to be held as much. She is probably just really over stimulated and not sure how to process everything. I literally can not wait to get home with her.  She did really impress us with her verbal abilities today! We've really only heard "aaaahhhh's" from her but today she whipped out a few "bababa's" and even a few "mamama's"! I'm not sure I can get too excited to think that she is associating me to those "mama's". She showed some preferential treatment to me today too! She wanted me to carry her instead of Jon a few times and when I was napping she kept coming over to see if I was awake yet. It melts my heart a little... She's only been with us 5 full days!

After lunch we ventured over to the National Archaeological Museum. Incredible place. There were so many Roman artifacts, as well as Thracian artifacts, and the oldest piece of bone with expressions drawn on it in Europe. It dated back over 1.1 million years ago! The also had pots and tools dating back to 3-6 million years before Christ! Crazy! I wasn't supposed to snap pictures but I snuck in a few...

4th-6th Century family portraits!

An old Roman tomb.

The old mosaic floor from the St. Sofia Apse.

An old tomb and stones hanging outside the Museum.

In the evening we Skyped with Livi again we headed out for dinner. We knew this was pushing Sofie's schedule a bit but we thought with her sleeping in we could get away with it. We barely did... We went to a cute little Moroccan place with some really good food. A stray cat made an appearance and Sofie surprised us with being really scared of it, even from far away. Uh oh... we have a cat. I'm not sure if she's ever seen one or if she's had a bad experience with one. I hope she gets over it quickly. She fell asleep during the walk home and it was a really easy transition to bed! Yay!

 Pretty restaurant.

Kisses!

Ewww! No tongue Sofie!

Quite pleased with herself.

We thought Wednesday was going to start off really early. Sofie woke up at 6:30am. I put her on the floor because she was tossing and turning and kicking us, she is the CRAZIEST sleeper I have ever seen. She promptly lay down on the floor and fell asleep for another 3 hours! Hooray! Mommy and Daddy were definitely thankful. We paid the price a little bit because she woke up hungry. When she gets over hungry she cries... okay, she usually cries when it comes to food, but she cries more when she is over hungry then doesn't want anything. We coaxed a few bites in to her, enough to satisfy her we thought, then went downstairs for our own brunch. I offered her some more food there but she only wanted Daddy's bread and kept stuffing the whole thing in her mouth. When we got back up to the room I tried offering her some more food and she ate a lot more! Maybe the restaurant was too stimulating. 

We decided to venture out to a big toy store in search of Livi's requested 'Tiger', some pants for Sofie that don't fall down, and some more baby food. We had hoped to go to the Zoo today but it was pouring! When we got back We thought Sofie was ready for a nap, but of course we were wrong :) So, Jon and I lay down while she quietly walked around the bed. Eventually, she fell asleep on the floor again! Yay for nap time! It is quite a late nap so I don't know what this will mean for bed time later but I guess every day is an adventure with Sofie! I should really wake her up though... it is 5 pm here!

Oh, I forgot to mention that I emailed the Embassy today and heard back that Sofie's Visa is approved and getting couriered to us today! That means it should get here by tomorrow or Friday! Thanks for all the prayers! I'm SO excited for all of us to get home together! 

Just a few pictures from dinner tonight too....

 Trouble...

Double Trouble!

* Side note: A few people have been asking about Sofie's size. Right now she is the top of a 12 month old and the waist of a 9 month old... I think she is too tall for 9 month pants though. Not sure yet. We are getting by with 12 month size bottoms that have the elastic in the waist that I can tighten though. She can get by with some 18 month stuff but only if it fits small. So, basically, if you are planning to give her anything she could immediately use some 12 month end of summer/early fall clothes but we are hoping to fatten her up to an 18 month size for winter! *