Our Sofie

Yesterday we got the full files for the two girls that we were initially proposed. In case you are a little confused as to what has happened lately this is it in a nut shell...

-We got two preliminary files, without pictures, that we were told we had to choose from in November.
-We chose our Sofie based on the fact that one girl had a lot more information than the other.  (Choosing one child over the other seemed like an impossible task. Since we had tons of info on the one girl and no concerns, but still had some questions about the little information we got for the other girl, we chose the girl who came with lots of information.)
-Just before Christmas we got sent a picture of Sofie and announced her in our Christmas cards!
-Within a few day our suspicions were confirmed that the picture we received was not of the girl we had originally chosen. We found out the reason for this was that the Bulgarian MOJ wanted us to review the full files of both girl before they were going to let us commit to either of them.  (We were confused. We had already chosen, but then started to fall in love with the picture of a different girl. We had suspicions that the picture we got may not be the right one so I was guarded with looking at it. We wanted to believe it was her though... and even if she wasn't our original choice, she might be our daughter.)
-Yesterday we received both full files and was able to make a final decision.

Both girls were perfect and we want to be able to adopt both of them. It's not allowed by BC adoption rules and would not be the right thing for our family at this time any way. So we had to make an impossible decision. There was no criteria we had for our daughter, other than we wanted to adopt a little girl around Livi's age with Down Syndrome. Both girls were perfect and would flourish in a family environment.

After a surprisingly short conversation between Jon and I, discussing all the knowns, unknowns, and inconsistencies in the files, Jon "logically" decided and I "emotionally" felt that sticking with our original choice was the right thing to do and she was the right child for us. Then we really looked at her picture. Original Sofie is DEFINITELY our Sofie. She has dark brown hair and eyes and even looks like Livi! She is perfect and I can not wait to hold her in my arms. She is so beautiful. Today I was finally allowed to send off our official request to adopt her.

So, if you got our Christmas card the picture is not our Sofie. I have deleted all the pictures of the other girl. I had to, for my own sanity. I had hoped not to see a picture of the girl we couldn't bring home, but it didn't work out that way. Her face is now burned in to my mind. Plus, they are in the same orphanage! Am I going to be able to go and give her a hug? Or will I feel too guilty to even see her?  I might not even be given the opportunity to see any of the other children at the orphanage. This process is really teaching me how to trust that God has a plan for our family... even though I'm not completely convinced that is how He works. Hmmm... I feel my theology changing again!

We are getting updated pictures and video next week! I can't wait to see our daughter playing, exploring and hopefully smiling! I feel like I can really start the attachment process too. We aren't exactly sure what the timeline is from here. We should have her home by the summer time but hopefully sooner. It depends on how fast the two governments work and available court dates. Pray that it is sooner than later. I feel like our family is missing some one. We need her home.

If you want some of the updated pictures send me an email and I might secretly be able to show you... I want to show her off but can't put her on any public forums :)