Deflated

I feel like some one has taken a big brick and popped/squished/scratched/stomped on my balloon. I'm feeling defeated and depressed. Up until this morning I was feeling so much hope and excitement for this week. Court which was going to make Sofie ours was happening this week! I was making plans for traveling, starting to think about packing, and really excited to announce that Sofie is ours!

I got the call this morning that the judge had looked at our file. My heart jumped! I was thinking that this was the call to tell me I "had" a toddler last night :) Unfortunately, the judge wants more papers. She wants an updated proof of income and a statement showing what property we own. My heart sank. It is not a "no" to adopting Sofie. Apparently, she had been happy with our application, but she wants more. I had been warned that Bulgaria was a paper intensive country but this seems so unnecessary.

You may think that two extra documents is not such a big deal, but it is. These two little documents need to be legalized and  authenticated in Ottawa. That takes at least 4 weeks. These documents won't be in the judges hands for another month. She won't make a ruling on whether Sofie can be ours or not for another month. Sofie will be stuck in the orphanage, unaware of how much I love her for another month. The judge had our application in her hands! She could have just said yes! We could be parents of two children right now. Why didn't she just say yes? This is so frustrating. I had a good cry about it earlier... I suspect those were not the only tears that will be shed this month.

I got the documents sent off to our agency today. I couriered them so they get there tomorrow and they should be in Ottawa by the end of the week. We are now looking at getting Sofie in September at the earliest. I feel heartbroken. I just want her home.